Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
For many years now, I have known that I needed to get serious and proactive about my health. Especially since I have a history of heart disease and bone disease on both sides of my family, taking better care of my body is something that should be a bit of a priority. Since 2011, I had lost somewhere near 30 pounds and I am super proud of it! But though I lost the weight, I didn’t lose my appetite for all things greasy, fattening, and full of high levels of sodium. I’ve had numerous people tell me about the benefits of eating a more plant based diet while cutting out dairy, sugar, and processed foods (you know, the things that I, and lots of Americans, have grown to love and cherish). Sure, theoretically it all sounded good and I’d like to try it out, but pizza, cheesy things, Indian food, Mexican food, copious amounts of beef, and sugary desserts had a particular hold over me. And since I had lost weight and seemed to be doing alright, I thought I could still indulge in the things I loved for a little while longer. So in this mindset I operated: I’m doing fine–I don’t need to change up anything just yet. I was doing just fine…until this previous September.
Since September, I have awakened every morning in extreme, excruciating pain. First it started off with soreness in the upper arms in the morning and eventually turned into arm pain, wrist, hand, and finger pain (actually more like miserable torture), and now some pain in my toes. The pain would sometimes be so unbearable that I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry because it hurt to move. My doctor had prescribed anti-inflammatory medication that really didn’t do much except slightly dull the pain. I was in agony. My doctor was of the impression that I am suffering from arthritis and my rheumatologist agreed. My rheumatologist feels that it is the early stages of rheumatoid arthritis (and I’m not even 30 yet!) and if my test results show that it is, she wants to treat with chemotherapy. That truly shocked me. Chemotherapy? Really? The idea was truly scary! Having to dope myself up with medication, especially ones with potential side effects of hair loss and infertility–yeah, I was not thrilled. And not only with those potential side effects, I couldn’t help but to think about how this would affect me being a photographer. I cried in the doctor’s office actually. But even in the midst of such a grim prognosis, there was hope! With God, there is always hope!
In the couple of weeks leading up to my rheumatology appointment, I decided to give this plant based (well, with some chicken) diet a try. I know that in a lot of instances, changing up to a non-Western diet (where the Western diet is of fatty, high processed foods and more of plants, vegetables, and fruits) can reverse 
arthritis (or greatly alleviate the pain, naturally). I did it for a few days and I actually began to feel better. When I woke up in the morning, I still experienced a little pain, but the awesome part is that I didn’t need any medication in order to move! I was excited. Now I did lapse and get some Indian food and I paid severely for it the next morning (the pain!) and that’s when I truly realized–since I wouldn’t make the decision to truly commit to a healthy lifestyle, God forced my body was to make the decision for me.
God truly knows me. Also, I know me. And what we both know is that if left to my own devices, I wouldn’t make a change in truly taking care of myself if I didn’t see an immediate need to. Even in spite of what I’ve seen happening with my family’s health, I’d still continue along my way thinking it won’t happen to me. I can be a bit hard-headed. If I don’t see a need to change I don’t. If I know I need to change, I will wait until the absolute last minute to do so. Unfortunately with health matters, there’s not always a “hey I can change at the last minute” moment. Though it took me getting to a point of extreme pain and not being able to properly function in my daily tasks to see that I need to turn my life around, I finally get it. Now when I’m tempted to give in and have a piece of pizza or eat something deep fried, thoughts of potential chemotherapy, not being able to pick up a camera, or severe pain in the mornings flood my brain.
In order for God to get us to where we truly need to be, we need to get a place of absolute brokenness. We get there in one of two ways: either voluntary or involuntary. In that brokenness, we are able to be emptied of ourselves and become filled with Him. When He’s running the show, He’s able to build us up in the way He needs for us to be to properly function in His kingdom. When God brings us to a place of brokenness, it hurts. But it is so necessary! For me, that brokenness has come at the expense of my health. But I’m so thankful for it! As He is rebuilding me, I will be healthy enough (and have more energy) to serve Him and His kingdom. God has only the best in mind for us and will do whatever it takes for us to be the best people we can possibly be, through Him.